Raise your hand if you ANY of these sounds like you...🙋♀️
Who struggles with impostor syndrome and a crippling fear of failure...
Doer who is afraid of failure AND success,
So you constantly sabotage yourself and you do enough to avoid mediocrity but you know deep down that you are not living to your potential...
An ambitious woman,
Who has had to learn how to be tough like a man in order to get ahead...
Who is the 1st or 2nd generation in her family to have privileges and opportunities that her ancestors did not have...
Or someone who is secretly afraid of fully owning their talents, self-expression and personality because they have been told by society that their essence is defective or abnormal
...and any or all of these have contributed to your feelings of...
You don't need to conform to a life of "adaptive" perfectionism.
You deserve better. You deserve to heal from perfectionism. I suffered in silence for 30 years, hoping that if I did the right things, these feelings would go away. But, they didn't. Instead, I hit my personal rock bottom and had nothing to show for my hard work and ambition. Life sucked. I could no longer hide from my demons: the inner critic, the saboteur, the hater.
The key to healing is in your subconscious
Once I committed to doing the work, I understood that my feelings of worthlessness and my loss of hope could not be solved through affirmations and willpower alone. I had to go deeper than that, and go to the source of my pain. I had to explore my subconscious, the dark place where all my demons live.
I went from wanting to die every 25 days to being radically and unapologetically in love with myself.
I stopped bypassing my emotions and finally gave my demons what they wanted - the space to be seen, heard and feel accepted.
This work took me two years because I was too broke to afford therapy and too ashamed to ask for help. If you are on this page right now, you are already ahead of me. It takes courage to accept and ask for help.
I have taken out the trial and error of my transformation and I have designed this experiential journey where we explore our subconscious with the help of Alice in Wonderland.
The subconscious doesn't give a shit about your logical arguments. If that were the case, all you'd have to do is say "it is all a lie!" and your depression, anxiety, anger, and despair would magically disappear.
If you could reason with your subconscious, affirmations would work automatically. You wouldn't have to do cognitive behavioral therapy and constantly repeat to yourself that you are not broken. You would never feel like a fraud, because having the job and having the degree would be enough evidence that you are capable.
If the subconscious worked the same way as your conscious, logical mind, we would have figured out how to feel whole by following a step-by-step formula. You would never feel this inner resistance to do things outside your comfort zone, because you would have no fears.
You'd be a blank slate, with no shame, fears, repressed emotions. You'd be eternally optimistic because you don't know your limits, you simply don't have them.
WHO ON EARTH LIVES LIKE THAT? WHO ARE THESE WELL-ADJUSTED FREAKS!?
Babies and children. That is, until they become self-aware and life happens. 😔
Not all is lost though.
We can go back to that moment, before life hurt us. That place is in your subconscious, and you can connect with it through stories and symbols.
Those stories you keep telling to yourself that you are not good enough? Those stories live in your subconscious. That's why coming up with a list of 20 reasons why those stories are not true is not enough to transform you. You need to go deeper. You need to go down the rabbit hole and finally see those demons for what they are. Repressed emotional wounds.
Some of these you may already know. But, there's a lot more that is so hidden that you don't even realize you have a script in your head that is controlling your waking life.
I used to have scripts like:
"Emotions are a weakness"
"Life is hard for a misfit"
"Strong women can't find good men"
running through my mind 24/7, without my conscious awareness. And yet, they controlled me. This is why I had trouble with vulnerability and expressing my emotions. This stunted my capacity to create and imagine a better future. This is why I believed that life was always going to be an uphill battle, and I should just conform with whatever came my way. This was reflected in the way I handled my finances, applied for jobs, negotiated my salary.
It wasn't until I figure out how to tap into my subconscious that the true healing and transformation started. I did it by studying archetypes and myths. I finally found a way to explore these toxic stories in a compassionate way, in a way that did not make me feel like a complete failure and waste of a human being.
I turned those stories on their head, and those demons are now my inner source of power. They are my allies. This is why I have the courage to show up here, tell my story, and believe that I will find my tribe. I am not putting this page together and hoping that someone will pop by and be interested.
*I know* that will happen, and I have complete trust in myself now. This is the complete opposite of who I was before I did this work! Before, I would have gone through the motions and secretly start planning for my inevitable failure. Heck, I would have bought a separate domain, in case this failed it wouldn't be on a website with my full name written all over it!
Nah, I'm here, I'm owning this, and I am not going anywhere. 👸
I am sharing my story so you have the evidence of what is possible. This could also be you. And you could get there faster than the 2 years it took me to get here. I am still evolving, growing and pushing my upper limit. The difference is that now I do it with way less anxiety and neuroticism. I find joy in the present moment, even though there is a gap between my reality and my wildest dreams. That's okay, I trust that it will happen because I am FINALLY equipped with the mindset that will let me be whatever the hell I decide to become. I am enjoying the crap out of my life. I feel gratitude in every cell of my being. I feel SO MUCH joy that sometimes I have a little cry because I am still getting used to this new version of me.
That's the power of healing at the source. And that's what you will learn in this course.
You will become the person you have been imitating this whole time. Within you there is a strong, fierce, loving, kind, smart, multi-talented woman. You got a fire, and, like any tool, it can be used to create or destroy.
Go down the rabbit hole with me. We are all mad in here, and it's okay. You are not alone anymore.
The short and easy answer is that I was OBSESSED with the Disney movie when I was a kid. I watched that tape on BETAMAX until I broke the tape!
But, the real reason is that I wanted to choose a story that was relatable and fun. This is key to the process. It is serious work, but you can't be too serious. If not, you'd *literally* go insane!
The part of us that we are healing in this course is the Maiden. The young girl that was told to be smart, but keep quiet, to work hard, but try to occupy as little space as possible...the girl who was told to smile, because crying and getting angry looks ugly.
A Maiden in her true power is a woman who is "one-in-herself". She belongs to no one, but herself. She is the pure expression of creativity, curiosity, joy, openness to life. She does not fear authority. She doesn't need approval. She answers to no one and nothing but her desires. She has clear boundaries, her body, her mind, her soul cannot be touched without her consent. Yet, she is also soft and emotional, but not in a way that makes her dependent and insecure. Her emotions are her inner guidance system. She is fully in touch with her intuition, so she knows what to do when she faces a challenge.
That's what makes her so brave and capable in the face of uncertainty. It's not the degrees, accolades, or material goods that give her self-confidence. She is in full alignment with her mind, body, heart. A woman like that is unstoppable. She can move mountains.
We have been conditioned to hate and fear aspects of the Maiden. By rejecting the Maiden, we reject ourselves and our gifts. We are in a constant struggle because we do not know how to fully embrace who we are.
Heal the Maiden, and all else will follow.
Alice is the perfect vessel for this journey.
She is a young girl that goes down a rabbit hole that makes her question her identity. She only wakes up from her dream when she realizes that the Queen and the court have no power over her...after all, they are just a pack of cards.
Alice in Wonderland is a treasure trove of symbols and characters that relate to the inner psychic journey we must embark upon.
We start end of May 2021. Join the waiting list by filling out the form below!